After all, it's far from the fact that the eldest daughter in the family ("nanny"), growing up with a "strange" child in her arms, which her parents gave her, and, in fact, deprived of her childhood, will later become a law-abiding lady and a caring mother of many children. The acquired experience of parenting is not a guarantee of the desire to repeat the experience. More often - on the contrary. An example is sometimes over a fence. A family of nine people, all six children - patrons of correctional institutions from an early age. Maybe one child is better, but "quality"?
Approximately half of the parents who decide on the birth of the second and even the third child explain their appearance to the world for certain reasons.
Here they are:
1. Educational aspects. The desire to instil in the firstborn the skills of caring for the younger members of the family (54%). In the Soviet era, the axiom was the saying: "The only child in the family will necessarily grow selfish." Later studies have refuted it.
2. Anxiety about the future life of the only child. The father and mother do not want to feel a sense of loneliness (68%) after they left for the offspring. Statistics are severe: conflicts between immediate relatives (including the material plane, such as the division of inheritance) happen much more often than there are cases of monetary, friendly or spiritual support.
3. Reasons from the category of "selfish":
- The desire to take advantage of maternal capital (40%);
- Intention to improve housing conditions (40%);
- The desire to strengthen marriage (49%); "You have told the world so many times ..." A child is not a glue. His parents are destined to part - the inevitable will happen. Only on the hands of the mother will not one copy of her ex-husband, but two.
- Hopes for support in old age (50%);
- The desire of one of the spouses to have more than one child (58%);
- Hope for the birth of a baby of the opposite sex (47%);
And if, for example, instead of the hotly desired boy - the successor of the family (surname) - the representative of the fair sex will come from the hospital? Is the father of the daughter happy enough to take this news? Will, he soon realizes that he has become the owner of an invaluable treasure?
- The desire to once again feel the appearance in the family of a child, to understand it (44%).
Often in this situation, help pets: dogs, cats, hamsters and goldfish.
Summarizing, we can say that the emergence of new members in the already formed, even a small team - a serious test for family life. Studies show that for the first child the birth of the second child is very often a real tragedy and not a "stimulus for the development of the individual". It is worth adding to this important fact: all "common family goods" in this case will have to be divided not into three, but into four parts.