Boundaries of praise
The first years of baby's life are associated with the knowledge of the world and mastering new skills. Every new and untested, it brings pleasure to the child and is of interest as for example, the desire to wash dishes or clean. The child does this, primarily for himself, not trying to please my parents or impress them. And the parents, in turn, each new stepchild perceive with affection and strive to praise when something happens. And the baby very quickly learns to associate the action and the praise. After some time praise becomes the primary motive for action.
The child grows and the parent requirements are also increasing. And receiving praise from parents for a child is associated with more difficult and responsible business. At some point parents just cease to praise him. Not getting the promotion, the child loses the motivation to commit to new actions. Consequently, reduced need for training and knowledge of the world.
And the dependence of praise growing, and sooner or later your child will face a situation when no one will compliment. For example, the school where your child will be one of many, or Institute. This can lead to the occurrence of a stressful situation, and in the worst case, the child will lose the meaning of life.
Very often parents, trying to motivate a child to commit actions or achieve a certain success, compare his actions with the actions of other children. According to parents, this should cause a feeling of shame and make the child reach for a more successful comrade. But in fact, any such comparison leaves a mark in the soul of the child, because it will be perceived as a reproach.
Don't forget that every person and child in particular, is individual and has its own set of good qualities. An unnecessary comparison can just devalue all the efforts and success of the child, which will simply cease to make efforts to achieve the set strap because it thinks that someone will still do better. The juxtaposition leads to the appearance of unhealthy rivalry, which may end in complete rejection of those activities in which a child can succeed.
No one says that it is necessary in the upbringing of the child to refuse praise. But we should remember that praise carries the function of motivation, therefore, proper praise must refer not to personality in General, and to concrete action to encourage in the child a desire to continue to improve in its implementation. Such praise gives a feeling of acceptance from parents and saves the need for the knowledge of the world and self-improvement.
Praise in communication with the child may serve as a litmus test, which will show him that certain actions cause positive emotions of adults.